Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Lainey's Birth Story - Part 3

Disclaimer: This is a birth story with all the gory details. If  you don't want to read about blood, cervix or discharge...Don't read!

Sorry to leave you on another cliff hanger! 

To say that I was a little disappointed to be only 6 cm dilated would be an understatement. The doctors (2 of them) started throwing around some scary words. "Failure to progress", "c-section prep", "pit drip". 

With me over hearing their conversation I grew increasingly more and more worried about the outcome of this labor. I began to regret my decision to have an epidural as I had watched and read all the stories that say it leads to higher complications including c-section. 

Finally, the doctors decided it was the best bet to go ahead and break my water and see if that helped things progress. They looked and thought maybe it was already partially broken but I had to question that, as I had never had any signs of leaking. So they went ahead and "broke the rest of my water". 

I also stood up and spent the next few hours walking around the room and bouncing on the exercise ball. I have no idea if that was doing anything but I wanted to try everything to have a vaginal birth. 

I felt like I was doing it and contractions were SO close together. Right on top of eachother and according to the monitor, very strong. I was excited to see how far along I was at 11:57 PM when the nurse came in to do a check. With her elbow fingers inside, her eyes got huge and she looked at me and said..."I don't think your water is broken. It's RIGHT there and bulging but you are still only 6 cm dilated." 


So apparently when the doctor "broke my water", it didn't break at all. Which thinking back on now, doesn't surprise me because as I was doing my bouncing and walking, I never had any leakage. The nurse paged the doctors and they immediately came in. At first they denied but after checking, a fully intact water! They broke it (again) and immediately the water was EVERYWHERE. It was shortly after midnight at this point and Ryan and I looked at each other as we knew our baby was going to be born (one way or another) on February 11.  

Everyone left us to rest for a couple more hours before the next check. Except at 12:45 am I decided to call the nurse in because for about 15 minutes I started to experience very painful contractions every minute apart. I tried to use the button that would administer more medicine but it didn't help at all. 

The nurse came in and seemed confused. She manually administered more medicine and still no relief. She checked me and to our surprise I was 10 cm and that is why I was feeling pain. The nurse said that she wanted to wait a while before I started pushing so that my body would move the baby down and into a good position all on it's own. I had told her about the long pushing process with Sam and she said it wouldn't be like that if we waited. 

The nurse stayed with me the whole time while we waited. The epidural started working again and I only had slight period like pains but lots of pressure. At 1:40 AM the nurse asked me to do a couple practice pushes but then during the first one asked me to stop. She frantically started to get the room ready and called the doctor saying it was time. 

Two doctors came in but one left as another delivery was happening at the exact same time. The baby's heart rate started to drop similar to Sam's at this point in the birth canal. They put me on my side to push. I pushed with all of my might. The epidural was still doing it's job. I could still feel the pressure "down there" and the tightness so I knew when to push. I even could feel the baby as it came out but again, no pain. It was amazing!

The last 10 minutes happened so fast. Between the doctors coming in, everyone getting ready and then me pushing. I began to push and at one point didn't really know what baby body part had exited but yelled to Ryan, "WHAT IS IT?" He said, "Lindsay, it's a head. You have to keep pushing". 

From start to finish, I pushed 6 times! So much easier then last time. It felt like time had frozen as the doctors and nurses waited for Ryan to declare the gender. I kept saying, "What is it? What is it?" before they could even put her on my chest. As they lifted the baby to my chest, Ryan had trouble getting out the words. And I was still anxiously waiting. Finally he gathered himself enough to say, "Babe, it's a girl!" It was 1:51 AM. 

I couldn't believe it and the nurse standing at the other side of my head put her hand in mine as we had discussed the loss of our baby girl almost a year ago. Without even realizing at first, they had brought our sweet girl up to my chest to hold. I instantly felt like I had known her all my life. 

Our girl stayed on my chest for over an hour. We stared at her, she started to nurse and it was the most blissful hour of my life. I had very minimal tearing and they only took 5 minutes to get me fixed up. 

We were allowed to stay in the birthing room for 2 hours so I knew I eventually had to hand over our girl be weighed and measured. 

Born: Sunday, February 11, 2018 at 1:51 AM 
Weighing in at 8 pounds 4 ounces and 19 3/4" long with a head circumference of 35 cm. 

We were too exhausted to start discussing her name. We had two favorites to choose from but wanted to spend more time with her and get some rest before deciding. We lucked out with a private room! Of course Ryan and baby girl dozed off to sleep and I just laid there in adrenaline fueled bliss. It was all over. The grieving, stress, anxiety, many appointments, sadness, happy moments and wondering what little person would be joining us! SHE was here, healthy and ours. In the silence of our hospital room, I quickly said a prayer of thanks. God knew exactly what we needed to heal from this last year, our Lainey. 


Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Lainey's Birth Story - Part 2

Disclaimer: This is a birth story with all the gory details. If  you don't want to read about blood, cervix or discharge...Don't read!

I left you off on a little cliff hanger but it was the easiest way to break down the story! 

Thankfully, the time of day was perfect and we saw little traffic and Ryan was able to drive fairly reasonable! I continued to time contractions in the front seat and you could feel our anticipation in the car on getting to the hospital and hoping this being the real deal! 

We arrived at the hospital around lunch time. Ryan dropped me off and went to find parking and I went inside and waited for him in the lobby. He came through the lobby doors looking out of breath and flushed. He immediately told me he parked but didn't get a parking ticket to allow us to leave. Which was fine but something we would have to deal with when we go to leave. 

I had Ryan leave our stuff in the van just in case. We walked casually to the 8th floor (while having a major contraction in the full elevator!) where we checked in with triage. I had a wonderful nurse and she hooked me up to all the machines. Sure enough....contractions every 4-5 minutes apart. She checked me and declared I was 5 cm dilated.  

I was a little surprised I was only at a 5 as two days before I was 3-4 at my doctors appointment. She knew my "birth plan" was to have a natural labor so she suggested she didn't check me in just yet. When they checked me in it would mean I would not be allowed any food. So we ran down to the Tim Horton's for a quick lunch. It was a little difficult to try to be normal during a contraction with all the people around. After our lunch, we decided to walk more to make sure things REALLY progressed. Things were getting closer together and the contractions were getting VERY painful. By the time I waddled back to triage to get checked, I was sure I was closer to at least a 7! The same nurse checked me and said...."Ok, don't freak out...but I think you are 3 cm dilated." This was at 2:30 PM. 


So I did start to panic slightly but the nurse tried to tell me that I need to relax my body. She said she knew by the contractions that I was in labor and didn't want to send us home as we lived so far away. She suggested that we go for another walk for a couple hours and go to the early birthing room to watch some TV and rest. I attempted to walk but the contractions were hitting every 1-2 minutes and were so painful that I didn't want to go far. We watched some Olympics and I did my best to try and relax while on a birthing ball. The contractions were coming back to back and I couldn't take it anymore. SURELY I had progressed. This was feeling similar to when I was in transition with Sam. So, we headed back to the triage nurse (same one!) for another check. At 4:06 PM, she declared I was only 5 cm. 

So this is the part where I MAY have freaked out and started panicking more! Ha ha!  What the heck was happening? My body stopped being able to process with Sam but not until I was 9 cm. It was then that I threw in the towel. I (loudly) declared that my birth plan had changed and I did not want a natural labor. I think at one point I even screamed, "GIVE ME THE DRUGS". 

The nurse and Ryan tried to talk to me about staying with the original plan and did their best to convince me but I was like a rabid animal. Thankfully, I was far enough along to get checked in and get some pain meds. 

While we waited for our birthing room, I suffered through more contractions for another 2 hours. The nurse thought maybe I had progressed more so before I got the epidural, checked me again....still 5 cm. Over 6 hours of 1-2 minute apart intense contractions...I was spent! 

At 6:11 PM we were finally moved into our birthing room. Ryan continued writing in our labor book timing the contractions and leaving me notes. I love having these notes to look back on now because at the time it was such a blur! 

 6:34 PM, I finally got the epidural and may have even promised the doctor administrating the drugs to name this child after them. 

Truthfully, the epidural wasn't nearly as bad as getting an IV. I wasn't scared about getting one as I had a spinal for my cerclage surgery so I knew what to expect. 

By 7:07 PM the epidural was in full effect and I was literally on cloud 9! I was able to get up to walk, use the washroom and yet not feel any pain. I could feel the tightness of a contractions but literally zero discomfort and have full movement of my legs. I take it I was one of the lucky ones who had zero issue with the epidural and had what they call a "walking epidural". Ryan and I settled in for a little rest before the next check. It was at this point that I really...dare I say....started to ENJOY labor! We napped, excitedly talked about baby-to-come and just had some quiet time before we welcomed our new baby.

At 9:30 PM the doctor came in again to check and you guessed it...5 FRICKIN cm dilated. Now we need to have some serious conversation about where to go from here....

Stay tuned for part 3! 

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Lainey's Birth Story - Part 1

Disclaimer: This is a birth story with all the gory details. If  you don't want to read about blood, cervix or discharge...Don't read! 

February 10, 2018

This story really begins at 36 weeks pregnant because that is when my cerclage was taken out. I was told over and over about the risk of this pregnancy and how this baby was going to be early. After 36 weeks, it became an agonizing waiting game. Not only was it hard to wait, but the daily contractions and bleeding made me constantly wonder, "is this it?" 

To everyone's surprise, I made it to 40 weeks! But on that morning something was different. 

You see, it was normal for me to get contractions in the evenings and throughout the night. It was such a tease but then I would wake up after a night of contractions to being just another day pregnant. I would go about my day not feeling much of anything until bedtime when contractions would pick up yet again! 

On the morning of my due date, the contractions I had been feeling all night continued into the morning which was very odd. So, I decided to start keeping track of them. I warned Ryan when he got home from work that morning that I was feeling contractions all morning and how strange that was. 

But Ry went to bed and Sam and I went about our morning. He played happily, I started a big patch of spaghetti sauce for supper that night (HA!) and I continued to time contractions. Sam's tantrums had taken a back seat and he was honestly wonderful that morning as pains would come and go. I really cherish that morning we had together alone for the last time before baby arrived. 

Around 9 AM, I got in contact with my parents for just a morning chat. I wanted to casually figure out if they would be home that day just in case this was the real deal. When they mentioned they might go to the city to visit my Dad's sister who had just had surgery, I thought maybe I should mention what was happening with contractions. I told them I thought they could still go and I would be in contact when they got back. Likely, I still had LOTS of time. 

They decided against going but I told them I would go ahead and get Sam's stuff ready. They convinced me they would take Sam so that I could focus better on relaxing and gearing up for baby. Again, I thought I had lots of time because the contractions were fairly far apart. I told them I would bring Sam up around lunch and we would enjoy lunch with them. 

At shortly after 10, things changed. All of the sudden the pain of the contractions became more intense and they suddenly were 3-4 minutes apart. I sent them a text and told them they needed to come and get Sam. I woke Ryan up at 10:30 AM and told him it was time to get ready and to do it fast. With the way things had picked up, I wanted to give us lots of time to get to the hospital that was over an hour away. 

We hit the road around 11 AM after Sam was successfully picked up and Ryan was awake. I still couldn't believe it was time and still thought maybe it was a false alarm. Would the next time we were at home be with two kids? We were going to go see! 

Stay tuned for Part 2....

Monday, February 26, 2018

It's A Girl!

Happy Monday everyone! Wow! It's been a while since I have made a post. I guess towards the end of my pregnancy I was pretty tired, sore and not up to doing much of anything at all. Thankfully, my pregnancy did not last forever, despite feeling like it was going to! 

Early in the morning, at 1:51 AM on Sunday, February 11, 2018, Ryan and I welcomed our daughter....

Elaine Emily Dawn Woermke 

Who we lovingly call our Lainey

I think a little over two weeks later, we are still in a little bit of a state of shock that...

1. We now have TWO kids to keep alive and 

2. We have a daughter. A healthy, beautiful and so loved little girl. 

I am starting to get back into the swing of being a part-time working mom of two and I am looking forward to sharing our birth story with you really soon! 


Wednesday, January 31, 2018

37 Weeks Pregnant

Currently one hundred 38 weeks (and 4 days) pregnant!

For comparison sake, 37 weeks with Sam! 

This Weeks:

Truthfully, I can't believe I am still pregnant!

Baby This Week: 

Baby this week is apparently the size of tackle box! 

Maternity Clothes:

Looking a little frumpy lately. I hate clothes in general. Especially pants and bras! Getting dressed is a challenge. Some of my work maternity shirts have holes in them and the sweaters aren't long enough. I'm living in yoga pants, a tank top and a open sweater. 

Stretch Marks/Weight: 

I guess my extra hunger did catch up with me and at my last appointment I did gain a few extra pounds. Could be a little water weight too because I am noticing my fingers are "fuller" then normal. 


Lots of movement and still the most active at night! 

Food Aversions/Cravings:

I have been eating smaller meals. I find if I eat too much at a serving, I really suffer with nausea and/or heart burn. 

Peanut butter seems to be a big aversion right now and the smell of ketchup REALLY grosses me out. 


I am just a normal waddling pregnant lady. So much pain in the lady bits and hips and back! I can only stand/walk for a certain length of time before it feels like my feet are going to break. 

What I Miss:

Not being pregnant? Ha ha! I feel VERY grateful to have been able to carry this child but I am never one to love pregnant so I am feeling very "done" lately. 

Labor Signs/Health Update:

Not much. I had a slightly disappointing appointment at this weekly appointment. Not because of bad news but because it was so busy. I waited for over an hour longer then normal and still didn't get to see my doc. So they didn't do a check or anything. Just listened to the baby's heartbeat and sent me on my way. 


The wait is now excruciating. It is so easy to be strong early on but when you get to the end, it seems so much harder to wait! Sam has been team blue for a couple weeks now! 

Wedding Rings/Belly Button

Belly button is very flat. I will never have a popped one. Rings off. 

What I'm Looking Forward To/Best Moment:

The best moments this week were spending time with my boys. Applying for leave from work was also fun to finally do. The rest is just sitting around waiting for something to happen! ha ha! 

This is kind of bad to say because I love work SO much but I got to miss out on a big 2 day work conference. I thought I would have had the baby but I didn't and I just knew I couldn't spend two days standing and talking business. I felt bad to leave it up to everyone else but I just knew I would suffer. 

I have a lot of gender neutral newborn things. White, yellow and greens. But a sweet friend (Hi Elizabeth) crocheted a couple baby hats in blue and pink to pack in our hospital bag! Now baby will be gender coordinated! 

Daddy This Week:

Ryan went back to work again so we are on our winter schedules again. He still does most of the lifting at home but Ryan is getting anxious to get out before baby comes. He has been asking almost daily about different sledding trips and I feel like the bad guy always having to say no. Thankfully, the weather hasn't been great and the trails closed so he has been forced to stay off the sled. ha ha! 

Big Brother Sam:

Sam has been a trooper this whole pregnancy. Between our loss in March and then getting pregnant again so soon, he has had to adjust to things going on which can't be easy for a 3 year old. With a high risk pregnancy has come some restrictions for me but Sam continues to adjust and we work through it. We had a rough spell with his behavior for a few days but we seem to have turned the corner.  


Do you know how long a white rhino is pregnant for? 16 months. Do you know how many months I have been pregnant for (between both pregnancies), about the same....So when I say I feel like a Rhino, I have good reason! :) 


Wednesday, January 24, 2018

35 and 36 Weeks Pregnant

Currently 37 weeks (and 4 days) pregnant! #pregnantforever 

These Weeks:

The end is so close I can taste it. It tastes a lot like acid reflex actually. :) 

Baby This Week: 

Baby at 36 weeks is the size of a cabbage patch doll! I think this is my favorite week for comparison. 

Maternity Clothes:

Getting by and will continue with what I have until the end. It got a little tricky after my grandmother passed away. I don't have a lot of fancy clothes and most of my dresses are summer with no sleeves. I made it work though! 

Stretch Marks/Weight: 

Apparently still no weight gain which rounds this pregnancy weight gain to exactly 22 pounds which oddly enough is EXACTLY what I gained with Sam. Stretch marks are there and very red. 


Still lots of movement but they are lower and more painful. Baby will push out hard with a knee or something right around my already stretched belly button. Ouch! 

Food Aversions/Cravings:

So much great food these weeks that it is amazing that I didn't put on 10 extra pounds. Ryan and I had a wonderful date at 35 weeks pregnant to our favorite restaurant. I also had a couple special meals at work and we did a lot of take out the week of wake/funeral for Grandma! No real cravings though just really hungry again lately. 

I'm surprised with the baby being so low that I still have some lingering heartburn. It's not as bad as before but I still need something to help it 1-2 times a day. Maybe this baby will be hairy little thing like I was (if wives tales are true)! Oh and besides that, it feels like the baby is so low that it could stick it's hand out and give me a high five. Getting up from any surface is entertaining as I try and roll and grunt my way through it. 

Jared and I. I was 3 days old here. 

What I Miss:

I miss summer flip flops! What I would give not to have to deal with winter boots right now! 

Labor Signs/Health Update:

Well nothing new at 35 weeks but at 36 weeks, they finally removed my cerclage! Baby had been measuring on the smaller side of normal so they decided to leave it in for the maximum of 36 weeks! I was very nervous for the appointment but excited to finally be just a normal pregnant lady! The procedure itself was more painful then I expected but it was done without anesthesia which was my goal. Get up, get going right away. Doc had a little trouble removing the stitch because baby's head was in the way. 

I am so thankful for my little cross-stitch and doing it's job to keep this baby growing safely on the inside. Now baby will be a normal, healthy (hopefully) child (aka: not preemie). 

Doctor decided to still keep me in the high risk department and my file list me as high risk as I had hemorrhaging troubles last time. He thinks all will be fine but wants it shown on my file when I go to have this baby so the doctor who delivers can be prepared for such a circumstance. I am SO thankful for the wonderful team that has and is continuing to follow me through all this. I really feel like they have given me the best care!  


So excited to know! I saw my grandma 6 days before she passed away and she was very excited to put her hand on my belly and feel the baby. Her grin will always be one of my most cherished memories. We asked her what she thought the baby was and of course she said girl. You don't really take that one to heart though because Grandma guessed girl for EVERY single person! She was right about 50% of the time...:) 

The night before her wake I had a very vivid dream it was a girl but then the day of the funeral I had just as vivid a dream it was a boy! So I give up. I have no idea but I am SO excited to know. We are set with a boy name that we love and 2 girl names we love! Now we just need to meet this little person. 

Wedding Rings/Belly Button

Very flat and the rings were taken off at 35 weeks pregnant (sadly). My hands and feet aren't really swollen just thicker with the extra weight gain. 

What I'm Looking Forward To/Best Moment:

Ryan and I had a wonderful date at 35 weeks pregnant! It was great to get out one last time with just him. 

Also I thought my husband and Dad were going to kill me, but at 35 weeks pregnant I decided to press on and paint our kitchen. After 8 years of orange I had been wanting a change but never bit the bullet. Glad it got done before baby comes! 

While the passing of my Grandma was a very sad thing, it also brought some joyful moments too. Sitting around telling stories about her and visiting with extended family who we don't see nearly enough for example! 

Becoming a normal pregnant lady and getting my cerclage removed! Glad to have made it to this big milestone and now I just sit back and patiently wait for the arrival. 

A not so great moment: Realizing I no longer fit at some booths at restaurants. 

Daddy This Week:

I'm pretty sure Ryan and I are going to kill eachother when he is off for the week after baby comes! ha ha! Ryan was off after my Grandmother passed for the arrangements and then again for cerclage day. That was only THREE days of us being together steady and by the fourth we were both ready for him to go to work! ha ha! We have gotten to the point in the winter where we are use to doing out own thing and so it makes it difficult to get back on the same page. 

Big Brother Sam:

Sam has started talking about baby as if it is already here. When we talk about our family he always includes it. We tested out our names with him to see how it sounded coming out! ha ha! With one he had some trouble but I think we have a cute nickname that will help him. 


City hospitals can be a little sketch. While I was waiting for Ryan at my appointment in the lobby. Beside me sits a large (and kind of stinky) man on his phone. He is RIGHT beside me and all I can hear is him talking on the phone to someone and they begin talking dirty! "I liked the picture you sent me. Next time can you take off your bra?", "What would you have me do to you?" and "hmmm....who's your daddy?". I was sure I was on hidden camera or something! The nurse upstairs and I laughed about it during my appointment (and I showed her a video I had taken ha ha) and she told me from now on when waiting for Ryan to park to just wait upstairs because there are some weird people who sit around the entrance lobby apparently. 


Monday, January 22, 2018

Our Boy Knows His World Is Going To Change

On the weekends especially, I have been doing my best to get in some extra love and attention to Sam. Ryan has to work most weekends so it means that Sam duty is all up to me on the weekends. But I've taken this opportunity to try and squeeze in extra special things and time with him. Although super painful, I get on the floor for car races, we've been baking and snuggling more. I don't know if I am doing this more for him or me. 

Current one-on-one time Sam gets with Daddy! ha ha! 

Baking with Mom! 

Sometimes I think I am doing this more for me as I want to get in as much extra time with just Sam before everything changes and I have to split the attention. Then the other part of me thinks Sam knows something big is about to change. And anyone who knows Sam, knows he does not do well to change! You have to pre-warn him for a lot of things in order to get him prepared. 

He has been talking about and including baby in a lot of everyday conversation lately and so we know he realizes things are happening soon. This soon to be change also makes me wonder if the resent out bursts we have been experiencing is due to this. While he doesn't show anger towards baby, he is very in tune with baby coming soon. 

Our typically calm, rational and cooperative boy, has recently started to have uncharacteristic rages. His very short fuse is very evident and there is no talking or discipline that is working anymore. It was literally like a light has switched and he has reverted into baby-like tantrum behavior. Sometimes an outburst can last 40 minutes! 

While this behavior as of lately is driving me crazy and want to pull my hair out, I am trying to do the opposite of what he expects and when everything is calm, still spend one-on-one time with him and express delight when he does great behavioral things. I am trying to be patient and still enjoy this time with him before baby arrives. I don't want to look back on this time with him before baby comes as a "frustrating" period. So I've been playing things with him I hate (aka: Playdoh, for 1 whole hour, ugh!), putting my phone down and yet still keeping into his normal routine and schedule. While the outbursts still happen, I try to remind myself it's (hopefully) a phase and that it won't be like this for long. 

Any advice fellow Momma's on how you discipline/calm a tantrum for your 3.5-4 year old when nothing else seems to work?